A Bipolar Diary

It's too early, the sun yet to rise but you woke up full of life flowing in your veins. Suddenly you felt the fire in you that was long dead, now flickering with hope and courage.  You want to show the world that you can do anything, and no one, not a thing can stop you.

Dear folks,

That was me yesterday, now I feel burned out. I think if not all, most of you probably felt the same way.  It is normal to feel very happy and sometimes depressed but with bipolar disorder, every emotion of its episodes is intense, too much that you may want to just feel nothing at all.  It's exhausting indeed, but I found a way to somehow manage the upheaval of emotions, to make something good out of the negatives, to learn from it. It's by journaling that I make the aforementioned possible.

Every day, whichever time, but mostly at night I write on my journal. Whether I was in between episodes of bipolar (means my feelings are at balanced), or nothing worth remembering happened, I still try to add an entry even only a page or less. I noticed that I got to see some patterns in my moods. I realized and learned a lot from myself. It really saved me.

Here's how it helps:

           You are able to express your emotions

Irritability is one of the symptoms of bipolar that sometimes can reach its extreme level and lead to anger. Maybe someone said a word you didn't like or you weren't able to get what you. Whatever circumstances caused you to feel it, it's happened. Now you feel your blood burning with rage and your heart tightens that breathing becomes hard. You started throwing things, books, chairs, table, anything your hand can reach. It’s feels impossible to stop the outrage of your emotions.

I experienced that before and I didn’t know how to calm myself. I tried listening to music, at first it helped me and I am sure music has helped a lot of you too, but It really isn’t the one that made me feel safe. Until I thought about writing what I feel at the moment. I got to divert my feelings to writing and not at throwing anymore. You can also write what made you feel angry or irritable, address the causes so you can find ways to prevent it.

Having a journal really calms the storms of my bipolar anger. It can help you too.

Track your moods

By writing your dominant emotion for the day, you can track your moods.  Study what triggers you to feel depressed or any emotion and what can you do next to avoid it.

You get to know yourself more

Any emotion and how you deal with it is a reflection of who you are as an individual. You’ll be able       to discover parts of yourself you didn’t know.

   It can help you remember things

We all know that having bipolar disorder makes us more forgetful than others who don’t have it. It’s part of it and sometimes because of medicines we take. I- too can even forget what I have just said or what happened yesterday. There were times I get confused of my own memories.

Just yesterday I was on the supermarket and someone accused me of taking her basket, even yelled at me. I was sure I didn’t do it, but when she kept babbling about it, I suddenly got confused. I started asking myself, “Where did I get this basket I’m now holding? Did I really do it?” It was embarrassing. That’s how we can easily forget.

Anyway, my point here is that writing down your daily activities on your journal is important. You can turn few pages back, and read about one moment as If you didn’t know that it happened. You’ll be surprised of the things you’ve done and words you’ve said.

  Let out your creativity

                 “Rational thoughts never drive people’s creativity the way emotions do.” -Neil Tyson

                You’ll never know what those emotions can do, where those emotions can take you. You can choose to let it pull you down or rise you. Express what you feel through creative writing, poems, novels, or just anything. If your happy, write a poem about it. If your depressed, write a short story.

Tips:

Maybe mere music won’t fully help. So why not write while listening to music?

Add an entry every day. 

Turn whatever feelings into words.

Maybe like a poem?

A DIY journal can inspire you to write.

Draw your emotions if words are hard to find.

  

I hope you folks always the best😊

                                                                                                                                                                                Love,

                                                                                                                                                                                   Lily