First psychotherapy session: A girl in college’s perspective

                I went to a psychologist to get help and I am not ashamed of it. What’s to shame?

Dear Folks,

                I always wanted to be open about my mental health. Talking about it makes it less painful, less difficult to accept, and more bearable. Addressing the struggles and accepting that you have fragile parts of yourself you didn’t choose to have is not a weak decision to make. It was hard at first to embrace this fragment of me. I even tried to hide it in my deepest senses, tried to locked the concept of it off my mind to forget soon, and tried to live a more normal life. But it came back more damaging and delicate, and always will.

When I first stepped in to the university, I never really thought that it could be that diverse and not welcoming at all, it scared me. It was as if it’s certain to make someone feel small and less. The buildings, benches full of students in their groups, corridors filled with strangers talking about strange things and more. I felt alone. But everything around me was endurable not until my episodes started to knock me off again like a surging wave of emotions. It was mid-school year when I realized that I undoubtedly needed help.

So, I asked my mother (she knows my condition) to take me to a psychologist because I’ve been too out of myself again. I was glad that I did not need to explain more. She then contacted the clinic where my brother had been before, and made an appointment for me.

As the day of my first appointment with a psychologist came closer, questions started bubbling in my head. The first one I had — “What actually happens during the therapy?” Others were, “Do I really have to tell everything?”, “Will the therapist judge me? understand me truly?”, “What if he/she only makes me feel more invalidated?”, “Should I ask things like this or that?”, “What if my friends or classmates discover that I’m in psychotherapy?”, “Am I now considered crazy or weak  because I go to a therapist?”, “Do I really need to?” These questions bugged me until I cannot provide answers.

I was nervous because I never even met a real psychologist once. I had doubts at first if It’ll work but I encouraged myself to try, so I did.

I wore a floral dress, drive to the clinic with my mother, arrived and waited for a few minutes. When I finally entered the room, it surprised me that I felt less anxious.

What actually happens during therapy?

“Do you want your mother to accompany you inside?” this was the first questioned the psychologist asked me, and I answered no. I just think that it’s more comfortable to talk to your therapist without someone you know is listening. It’s easier for you to voice out what you feel and/or anything that you think is a must to say.

Your therapist will ask you about you why you’re there seeking therapy. They may ask you about the issues you’d like to address. They will tell you to just talk about your feelings, or feelings toward certain issues or situations and how you deal with it. If you are already diagnosed with a condition before, tell your now-therapist about it.

Don’t worry because the therapist will only listen to whatever you may want to say. They won’t force you to tell something you’re not yet comfortable to say.

After some talks, I was asked to answer a questionnaire. They let my mother inside, and with her, we discussed the treatment that I need. Also, before the session ended, my therapist encouraged me to write all my worries and anxious thoughts every day until the second meeting. That was it.

Do I really have to tell everything?

You seriously have to be honest with your therapist I must say.

Will the therapist judge me? understand me truly? What if he/she only makes me feel more invalidated?

NO, the therapist won’t judge you. The doctor may not relate to you, but he/she will surely understand you. I think If you feel uncomfortable with the therapist, maybe just look for another? Or still try to.

Should I ask things like this or that?

You should! That’s better, I think. Ask them things you wanted to know about your condition or anything related. I once asked my therapist about how exercising is good for our mental health.

What if my friends or classmates discover that I’m in psychotherapy?

Just ignore them if they use it negatively against you. It isn’t a bad thing. Do not be ashamed of it.

Am I now considered crazy or weak because I go to a psychologist?

Definitely, no. That’s just what the stigma around mental health is telling us.

If you think psychotherapy is a better option for you, then go. Or if you think medications is more effective to you, go to a psychiatrist. But if you think both medication and therapy is the best option for you, go get what you need.

I was told by my therapist before that If I get better with only counseling, then I won’t be needing medicines anymore, but If I don’t, then I have to contact my psychiatrist again, and have both. I chose not to take any bipolar medicine again, here’s why. (a link to another blog about why I chose therapy over medicine)

How much did it cost?

                The first session was for one thousand and five hundred pesos (P1500). But the following ones only costs five hundred pesos (P500).

Where? Who?

I did some research, and here’s a short list of psychological service providers. Anyway, get help folks if you feel like you need one.

·         Dr. Ampil – Metro North Medical Center, Mindanao Avenue, QC (PHP700/session as of 2018). Contact: 426-8000

·         Dra. Luz Katigbak – Makati Med (PHP2000/session) Contact: +639234946673

·         Dr. Constantine Della (WESTGATE CLINIC, Alabang) Contact: 09179333446

·         Dr. Kristine Roldan (ASIAN, Alabang) – Michelle (secretary) Contact: 09178636163 / 027719000

·         Dr. Michelle Marie Marinas (WESTGATE CLINIC, Alabang) Contact: 771-13-53

·         Dr. Alvin Teopaco (Pampanga) Contact: 09166880888

   Dr. Romeo Yu Enriquez (Angeles University Foundation, Pampanga; Mon-Fri, 10AM-2PM) – for appointments, you may call his secretary Lorie – Contact: 09338504541

·         Dr. Myrna Astillero (Pampanga) Contact: 09278125905

Here is the full list. http://www.silakbo.ph/help/

Acceptance is important because once you finally accept what you have, you can know more about it and yourself. It will become easier also to accept that you may need help.